I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she woke up with a sticky ear
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
