I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
