I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
