i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
