I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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