no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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