And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
only you would photoshop your dick
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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