I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
