MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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