don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
