I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
