Don't make out with my wife yet
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
