how can u be prego again
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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