No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
