M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
