i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
