now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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