ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
