If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
