their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
