There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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