they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Mom said you looked used
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
