as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
