she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
