I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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