Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
