One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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