Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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