The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
