He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
