idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
