Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
