why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
