epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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