I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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