I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
