Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
