I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
