I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
