he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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