so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
