Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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