Dual....:-)
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
