is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
