Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
