I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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