Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
