Soap is not a condiment
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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