At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
