never play flip cup with pint glasses
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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