My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i think we sleep fucked last night...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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