we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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