I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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