I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The uberlube is also flammable
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
